Memory Lane

I ran into an old friend yesterday(her in the picture), from my riding life, I haven't seen her since 2002! My horse retired to a farm and I stopped riding all together around that time. That is the same time my work in travel got so busy and I've not so much as talked to this friend (even though she lives only 2km away) or anyone else in the riding community since then either. I found it was easier to deal with not riding, by not being 'in the scene' as it were. Anyway, I was taking a drive down memory lane (literally) by driving around the horsey area of my suburb and lo and behold there she was! She is quite a bit older than me, and married to someone with oodles of money, so they have one of the larney horsey properties - with about 7 of their own horses. I envy her the horsey property, but not her life, as her husband 'appears' to be an unfaithful sh*t. Anyway, we saw one another and she was like "come over! Come to the house! Come for a coffee!" So I followed her back to her place where we got to chatting. It was hard to believe how her child was growing! From someone who had just started riding (her daughter) in fact I taught her her first lesson in 2001, she is now a Children's Junior Dressage & Showing Champion! Anyway, I offered her some of my equipment that I still have around the house and can't use since if I ever have another horse one day - who knows if the stuff will fit. Anyway, and she offered me a horse to ride in return, that she wants help with. Now it's a very tempting offer, but somehow I find myself at a bit of a loss. I would LOVE to get on a horse again. But when you are riding someone elses, it is not the same as having your own at all. I know that I will LONG for my own horse again, and I'm not sure that I could handle the longing. (Let alone afford it!) Now that I have the bubby, I can't bring myself to do get into that world again (shows every weekend - with copious drinking), because then he will miss out on me too much and that's not fair to him. Anyway if I do have a horse again it will be when my kids (hope to have another one) are at school, then at least I won't feel guilty of not spending time with them because horsey stuff can be done in the mornings before they're home from school. What do I do??!