Brain Bubbles

Expressions of a caffiene regulated brain.


Thursday, July 14, 2005

T-minus....and counting

Ok, it won't be long almost 24 hrs give or take an hour or two, I'll be done working. Done, so that I can sit with my feet up, spoilt for choice as to which cat gets to sit on my lap an relax with me. Never in my life has the thought of relaxation been SO attractive. Not even when I was a student, and the long vacations stretched ahead of me do I think that I fully appreciated the value of a chance to sit on the porch and watch the bird life, watch my cats, watching the birdlife, watch my dogs watching the catlife, watching the birdlife etc you get the picture! With a nice cup of tea, or if warmer weather a tall glass of something cool. To sit there and ponder just exactly how much life is going to change in the next 4 weeks. My mind boggles at the thought of it. Yesterday when arriving at the Doc for my check up, (she is based at the hospital where i'll be having the kiddi winkle), I tried to imagine what it would feel like to be arriving... on the day of my elective caesarian. To know that in less than 90 minutes, I'd be on some operating table numb from chest down, having my baby taken out. I had a little panic attack. OH my god. I am SO NOT READY for this. SURE I'm totally ready to be on the other side of the surgical be a mom, to see my son. I just don't want to have to go through all that SURGERY!!!! AAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHHKKKKKK!!! Don't get me wrong though, the surgery is still favourable over the whole 'pushing' it out scenario - but I'm still scared SHITLESS.